Last page to 2021 Script

 December, Friday the 18th 2020-

Script - Ending: 

Interior/Late Afternoon Sun setting:

Cleaning out a bedroom closet finding a large box U-haul with clear tape deteriorating. Little dusty and heavy.

Myla

Myles!!! Myles!!!

Myles

"What? Hey look what I did?" 

Trying to show her his progress on the Nintendo Switch.

Myla

"It's too heavy. Give me a...."

Myles

"Cousin Joanie didn't have a lot of stuff."

Myla

"Look? All this paper. All this writing." 

Myles looks over his shoulder.

                                                                            Myla con't

                               "These are poems or lyrics... never heard any of this..."

                                                                            Myles

                                "RRRRrrrr... There! I'm good AF!"

          Looks again over his shoulder and yanks some papers from Myla.

                                                                        Myles con't

                                "Cousin Joanie wrote this... sounds like stuff she say. Oh well..."

          Myles tosses papers back to Myla

                                "I'm going back down stairs. You don't want none of me..."

Back to playing NS.

  Myla, humming a tune that she always hums, drags box toward stairs) 

 

 

Day 30 and this is the end

Day 86 or Day 30

It is 5:55am

Hallelujah! I have made it to day 30 of the goals and steps and now I can go back and compile this stuff after this entry and figure out what the heck this season is all about. I am grateful for this short season. So, yesterday I got up and went to Mary’s house after all the morning ritual stuff was done. She had Asia with her and they were just getting up and heading out to MLK events. I leave them and head to Valley Mills to work on wooden trays and gluing up boards. I stay there until about 1pm and head back home. I listen to some YouTube videos for close to two hours and then take a nap. I then get back up and go over to Mary’s house to help her with her tasks for a bit. The weather was turning fast by the time I left her and Erica. It was close to 7:30pm I think. I read some Spiritual Authority book and then resolved that I needed rest. So, I rested. As the Chinese proverb says… when you are sleepy… close your eyes. When you are hungry… eat your rice. I like that.

I could go back out there to do wood working, but Christina has her ritual, and I do not desire to get in the way of her ritual. As well, we have entered into a new work week. Therefore, until I get compensated for this work week, I will not work again. That means I will work perhaps either Saturday, Sunday or Monday depending. I have seven trays to get done.

Goal or steps 1- decide what it is I want. I have been thinking of career and jobs, but really it is more like I want security and stability marked by day to day activity that feeds my soul and spirit while bringing joy to others through joy itself. I love being happy and sharing joy and happiness with the day and others. I love seeing faces light up and smiles appear on faces. I think I need to start a clown business, but this outcome can be accomplished in many ways and in many jobs. I just know I am not attracted to the 9 to 5 stuff or the office cubicle stuff. That would drive me bonkers. But I do need to see people. That is always something that feeds my soul… interaction. I am thinking about counseling again… I might want to give myself over to that. I need to talk to Ginny about that.

Step 2- make a plan to achieve the outcome I want. I think within all this text that has been written over all these weeks, there is a plan that can be contrived. I am excited about the next step.

Step 3- Create action items that will lead to the outcome that I want- I can reflect on my life and know that everything that has gotten me to this place has been accomplished though action steps. I left Waco to go to college and I had all my classes outlined for the four years my freshman year. I had a plan. I kept that plan and revised it along the way. The same college catalog that entered with Freshman Year, was the same one I carried around when I exited with all the scratched out plans replaced with the new directions and so on my Senior Year. I finished in 4 years with two degrees and 3^rd in my class. Then on to Graduate School where I did pretty much the same. I outlined the outcome and walked out the action steps. I made adjustments along the way and finished not where I started which was a PhD track in Communications, but with 3 years and a MA and MFA in Film and Video Production. I did not reach those goals by happenstance. I reached those goals by action items with an outcome defined. I have always had goals, action items and outcomes that I have laid out for myself. In acquiring employment, in creating projects, in developing curriculum, in giving presentations, in writing and reciting… my life has been one of plan, revisit and proceed. These are not new concepts to me. All this stuff was done in my own strength and has landed me in a place of disillusionment. None of it had anything to do with me or The LORD. So now I am at this place where I need to deal with me… the real and authentic me, and GOD needs to deal with me.
The real wants and desires and not the performance and the masks and the all the trappings of this society and its need to achieve and expand must be established. I don’t even know who I am in this muck. Until I get that settled, I am stopping, leaning and depending on GOD, and taking inventory and stock.

Step 4- Decide that I will not take short cuts. The present temptation is to get a job or get marketable skills for a good paying job. From there plan on quitting that job after saving up some funds to invest in something that I would prefer or rather be doing… this is a short cut that really is a time waster and the long way around a mountain. If I decide what I want to do, then I do not need these short cuts that are going to leave people used and me taking a job that truly needs to be for the person it is intended for and not me. I have done this over and over over and it has to stop. Like stop now.

Step 5- monitor my words to see if I am self-sabotaging. Because I am one of those kids who has heard over my life span… “You are too smart for your own good.” I realize that I need to spend some time monitoring what is coming out of my mouth and what is rolling around in my head. These thoughts are the beginning of the stuff that falls out of my face, and those thoughts need to be taken captive and interrogated. I am tired of the sabotage. Water boarding time for real…

Step 6- refer to my plan daily to ensure I am on track and have not drifted… I have done this in the past, and I am well capable of doing this now.

Step 7- Obey and trust God with the consequences

Step 8- Be grateful and thankful in all things

Step 9- be truthful… I have to and must get into a better relationship with the truth, my truth, and God’s truth. This is imperative if I am to ever get out of this cycle or funk I am in. Ye shall know the truth, and it is the truth that will set you free!!!!!!!

Step 10- remember just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you ought to

This about sums up my week so far. I think I will drive out to Mom’s and give her this bag of pecans. They were left on my back door for her yesterday. Mrs. Carpenter, our elementary school librarian left them for Mom. Mrs. Carpenter has to be in her early 80’s. She loves Mom and thinks of her often and does thoughtful things for MOM. It is sweet. Thank you for the chance to help Mrs. Carpenter take these pecans to Momma.

It is getting on with it time, this day that is. The weather was supposed to be very bad, but it is fairly mild. It is cold, but there is no snow, ice, sleet, or howling winds right now. I believe everyone is shutting down today based on the forecast. However, the forecasters have gotten to the place where they are blowing everything out of proportion for the sake of viewership, and hence the result is a snow day where there is not any evidence of snow anywhere to be found. Praise the LORD. This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it. There are not outcries to heaven these days. Just a stench of modernity and all of its trappings.

Thank you, Father for this day. Thank you that I have food to eat, a warm home to live in, my two dogs and a car, money in the bank, health and a strong mind and thank you for Jesus in my life and heart and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Now unto You LORD, you WHO are able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all I can think or imagine or ask… to you be the glory and the honor in Christ Jesus and in the Church… Amen!

Blessings~

Day 29

Day 85 or Day 29

It is 5:53am and there is but one more day of this goal writing and commitment to typing for 30 minutes minimum. The time has wound down, and I am grateful that this event has happened. It has given me insight and wisdom that I would otherwise not have gained doing things my way and not yielding to what this woman had brought into my home that Christmas potluck afternoon. It was a potluck in and of itself. Thank you, Father God. This morning the LORD gave the vision of when Mary slipped on the floor furnace when we were children. I do not know what the take away from that is just yet. What I can share is that I remember my brother Brian and myself witnessed this. We told her to stay down and we would get her up because she was so small she might have burned her hands on the grate trying to lift herself up. She had a checker board mark scar on her stomach as a result of the fall. I think it has since faded as she has grown into adulthood, but the memory never did. Not for her, not for me and not for Brian. And so, I am left wondering and pondering what this means for me this day regarding asking the LORD what HE would have for me to do this day. The best I can discern is that I need to go and help her out today. And so, I will do that.

Yesterday I got out without the dogs and got a good time in on the two miles. I piano played and affirmation read and journal entered, etc… Then I listened to two sermons and read the bible. I then went to the workshop to help out with trays and letters. It was very relaxing. I enjoyed my time. Christina is still frustrated, but has resolved that she is looking for a job and has an interview. The LORD is not done with her yet out there, though. I cannot say for certain that I know how, when and what GOD does, but I can see that she is still out there even though she wants to be elsewhere. She has GOD’s work to do with those persons she has been called to minister to, and I encouraged her to see with spiritual eyes what is before her and to be aware of the spiritual battle and not the intellectual one she thinks is going on. I do not think she gets it, though. All I can do is pray and intercede on their behalf… which I have not been doing, but will do.

Father GOD, if it is your will, please release from the binds of deception, Michael and Kimberly. Please strike them with insight and truth. Let them know the truth and allow the truth to set them free. In Jesus’ name, I pray… Amen.

This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it.

I came home from the shop and showered. Ran to life group late and we talked about Jesus asking who the crowds and who the disciples said HE was. And then HE goes on to predict HIS death. It was a deep lesson. The gates of hell shall not prevail. That is strong. Amen.

Step one- seek GOD

Step two- Worship God only

Step three- live from the WORD of GOD

Step four- Fear GOD only

Step five- Do not put the LORD Your GOD to the test

Step six- Serve the LORD only

Step seven- listen and hear “Who said that”

Step eight- be quiet before the LORD

Step nine- trust in the LORD with all your heart

Step ten- in all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE shall direct your path

Quite frankly, I am going to land here with my goals and steps. This is the only way. There is no other power or fount than GOD. He works all things together for my good because I choose to love HIM. Thank you, Jesus for giving us the keys to the kingdom. Thank you, Holy Spirit for leading and guiding us into all truths. Thank you, GOD for your grace and mercy.

Every day it is getting a little easier. Today I am going to work a bit out at the shop and I will work with Mary. She generally gets going late. I can get out to the shop early and get my day going. This entry may turn out to be one of the shortest ones so far. And that is fine with me because God is all up in it.

I tested the WebEx video conference calling with Natasha. It is a simple connect once I downloaded google chrome. She is doing a fantastic service in training folks on AWS and SPLUNK interface. I do not know what any of this stuff means, but she is awesome to want to train people of color and portal us to accesses to jobs in technology. She is very goal oriented and mission minded. I am learning so much from this woman of GOD. I thank you, LORD for my cousin and for your divine placement of her spirit in my life this season. You are a mighty GOOD GOD.

Blessings~

Day 28

Day 84 or Day 28

It is 6:29am. It was very hard to gather myself up this morning. I got to bed late. So, the alarm went off at 5:15 but I did not get out the bed until 6:15. I am not beating myself up. However, I had to have to remind myself to get up and do what I said I was going to do. This has been going on for a couple of days now. I guess I have reached a leveling off point. But, that is not going to stop me from pushing through. Who is in charge?

I did not complete any creative projects yesterday. I can’t say I wasn’t inspired, because I can really sit down in front of this page and type away until something reveals itself. I just did not get anything done. Again, I am not going to beat myself up. I will just encourage me to do better. Today I will go to Kimberly’s to help out making trays and letters. This is creative work. I will also get some of her scraps that they burn and repurpose them into other crafty wood projects.

Took the dogs yesterday 2 miles. Went to see the movie COCO with Cindy. I was just a crying my eyes out near the end. It was so emotional. I give the film an A. Mary and I went to the banquet and it was nice. The best part was that it ended in 2 hours instead of the scheduled 3 hours. That was fantastic. Got information from Creative Waco Executive Director Fiona something or other about getting involved. This was a good thing, too. I have been praying for a lead, and I think this is an answer to that prayer. They are seeking out creative people of color in Waco purposefully. So, I think here we go… Got to get my energy back up. Perhaps a trip is going to be necessary that gets my juices flowing. Or else I am gonna have to take some amp it up classes or pills. I can do it. I can get back to a state of high energy and high productivity without all the bi-polar side effects. It is gonna be alright. I am not going to have an aneurism and fall out in need of hospitalization. I can do it and be alright in the process. Let us get a move on…

Step one- take a shower

Step 2- brush my teeth

Step 3- dry off

Step 4- deodorant and body spray, lotions, and potions

Step 5- get dressed

Step 6- gather purse and keys and water and get in the car and drive off

Step 7- Buckle up

Step 8- look both ways and every direction at all times

Step 9- do not drive and text

Step 10- Put parking break on

This is the exercise. Write down step to career goals. If I can’t handle these here steps, then the career is just out of the question. I am not even being funny here. I am a human that is able to follow steps. I can do most things in logical order without a thought or reflection. My mind has already worked it out. So, I just need to prescribe those desired outcomes and punch them into my brain. It is good at figuring stuff out. I am patting it on its head right now. Good brain! Gooodddddd Brain!!!”

OK- another shot at goals…

Goal 1- Develop a story outline you are passionate about (Like the colored version of the Sound of Music) You have wanted to do that for a long time now…

Goal 2- Write the damn thing

Goal 3- write the lyrics for the sound track and get a composer to assist with the music

Goal 4- do a call for script readers and have readings set up so you can see and hear if this script is working and what needs to be reworked, rewritten, or revised, or revisited or recycled.

Goal 5- this is really more like goal one, but find the best time of the night or early morning for you to work and hammer this out. I am thinking you need to start at about 3am or 4am with your writing. From this exercise of daily journaling, you have discovered that you can hammer out about 3-4 pages in 30 minutes. With 2 to 3 hours of writing, that is about 10 pages a day. This can be in rough draft in about 2 weeks at the latest.

Goal 6- set a deadline- before the end of March 2018… a rough draft should be finished.

Goal 7- visualized this story... brain storm the ideas. You have seen it before in your mind. Get it out of there.

Enough of that…

Thank you, Father for this day. Thank you for loving me in spite of myself. Thank you for being a God of many chances and being a God of mercy. I know that Jesus, you died for all of our sins. I know that the Holy Spirit is grieved when I do not listen and obey. I know I need to be under authority at all times and to trust and obey. Help me in my unbelief and help me to trust you more.

This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it. I am feeling a bit better and little more revived right this moment. I know I am a sinner saved by grace and a child of the MOST HIGH GOD. You are GOD along, but you love me and you love all your creations. Thank you. I exalt you, Father.

Blessings~