Day 27

Day 83 or Day 27

6:04am cruising right along. Good morning to this day. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. I was reading about Noah yesterday and there was lots of revelation. I am glad to have revelation. It is a cleansing thing. I read about Moses as well. It is good to have revelation. It is a purifying thing.

I read about Jesus yesterday, too. It is good to gain revelation. It is a gracious thing. I am looking forward to this day. I have asked a few things of the LORD and am eagerly awaiting a response. Thank you in advance!

After close to three months of keeping this journal, there is some part of me that wants it to come to a close. Keep in mind I have a results attitude and a need for accomplishment and achievement. If there are no results to this exercise that amount to something tangible, I begin to get discouraged by this exercise. The good thing is that I am committed to at least getting to day 30 of the goal and steps part of this. After that, who knows. Curl back up in the bed and sleep until eleven in the morning and loaf around inside my head all day. Sounds terrible and lonely. No, don’t do that. Stick with this stuff. Results come when results come, not when you want them to come. There goes some sense wanting to rear its head and join in this discussion. And, now is the time where the banter between my alter egos come into play. It can be fun, but it can also be unproductive in ways. Nonetheless, let us hear what you all have to say. Step on up to the mic ya’ll. One at a time now. No need to clamor.

Now that I threw a little light on you all, you want to get quiet and leave the stage… I thought so. I am wanting a word on what to pursue in life. Is it this or is it that.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness and all these things will be added. Do not worry about what you will eat or what you will wear. All this stuff is what is showing up. Therefore, is it really necessary to put down goals and steps if the answer is seek ye first…? Perhaps it is in these goals that all the steps are found. Perhaps if I can get these things in order, I will be moved forward instead of trying to do this in my own strength. As a child of GOD, I need know better than to do things in my own strength. I am under the authority of Jesus.

Step 1- seek the Kingdom of God and HIS Righteousness

Step 2- be on the lookout for all these things to be added

Step 3- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not to your own understanding

Step 4- in all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will direct your path

Step 5- commit your ways to the LORD, and HE will make your path straight (He will establish your plans)

Step 6- Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may lift you up in due season

Step 7- cease striving and know that HE is GOD

Step 8- yield to God as one who is alive from the dead

Step 9- love one another

Step 10- have evidence of fruit in your life… peace, joy, love, goodness, kindness, patience, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it!

Today I will go with a friend to the movies. Later in the evening, I will go with my sister to a MLK, Jr. banquet. That is the day's list of things to do. It is cold outside, but not freezing. It could be worse. I took the dogs for 2 miles with me yesterday afternoon. I usually do not like to be seen about town, but I managed to suffer through it. We shall see today. As it warms up, I will take them with me again. They like that.

Thank you, Father. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit!

Blessings~ 

Day 26

Day 82 or Day 26

5:46am… Affirmations, bible reading, piano playing and now journaling. I will get two miles in this afternoon. The wind chill this morning is 18 degrees and I am not doing it. At some point wisdom is better than the flu. Another day down. I only have 4 more days to write goals, and I will be done with that or with this… Who knows what after that will be the goal. That is intended to be a very bad pun.

I did get three creative projects done yesterday. I just didn’t post them all to the blog. I am ok with that. I do place them in a folder on the desktop. This helps me to keep them organized by the real date. I made a clock out of artwork. I placed a frame around it and purchased a clock kit and worked it into the piece and it turned out pretty neat looking. It is Chinese characters that spell my name. I took a picture of it and then return the clock kit because I couldn’t get the hour hand to set in place. I will go to Michaels and get a different kit or Joann’s.

After this week, there will be a scaling back on the number of projects and a focus on the quality of the projects. Also, I need to go back and do a lot of editing of this writing. Of course, the journal entries, such as this is, I do not edit because it is a morning brain dump… it is in line with the Morning Pages that are a part of the ARTIST’S WAY book.

Great is thy faithfulness toward me, Father. Your loving kindness toward me is awesome. Great is your love. Great is your mercy toward me. I acknowledge YOU in all things. Thank you for your great provisions and divine love.

Chores are moving along. I am at the back entry way. I moved the coat rack and took out the shoe rack. I want to take out those shelves and rotate the washer and dryer so the space is a bit more open. That is going to take some figuring out, demolition, and cash flow.

Step 1- for today is keep clearing the clutter. It is a good day to focus on this because it is so cold. One room at a time and I will be fine.

Step 2- action items only please… step two is to think up some action items.

Step 3- hold on

Step 4- embrace what the LORD brings into your life this day and seek wisdom and guidance.

I think that is enough of these steps and goals for this day. I do not think I was supposed to have to write 10 a day, just write down goals or steps. It was my thing to do ten. And it is my thing to stop requiring myself to have ten. Ten is a lot in the grand scheme of things. That would equal to 300 goals or steps in 30 days, and that for me would be a bit overwhelming. Except for the fact that there are a lot of repeats… that makes the number go down a bit. As soon as this is over, I will read through these things and collect the data to review. With all this manure, there must be a pony.

Bring on the drivel now… I am at the bottom of the barrel with things to write about. Carmen sent me a text stating that my former boss wished I were back at work so that he did not have to deal with all that went on in my department. I can imagine… it was a lot to keep up with and it is good that he can see it firsthand even if he does not understand the position deeply.

She also encouraged me to consider purchasing one of the vendor’s businesses. This is a possibility, but I do not believe this vendor would ever sell her business, let alone to me. But stranger things have happened. Also, yesterday, the program director for Upward Bound, my new boss, emailed me to see if I was interested in a position that was full time. It is the academic specialist position. It would be a raise of 10k from the last position. But I have expressed to GOD that I do not want to work for any company, but to have my own company, so I have to not be doubled minded and be very prayerful with this decision. Already I do not have a great affinity for the tutoring portion after meeting Wednesday with the staff, parents and students. High Schoolers are really not my thing. Mary is so much better with them. Not trying to compare myself to my sister, just knowing she loves kids and loves being around them. People under 17 drain the heck out of me. So, I must stay focused and not chase the money, but wait on the LORD. He is my GOD not money. I can only serve one or the other. So, I choose GOD my father. He will reveal what I should do.

Thank you that I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit for your leading and guiding into all truths. Thank you, Father God for your grace.

Blessings~

Day 25

Day 81 or Day 25

It is 6:48am

What a wonderful morning it was at 5:30. I had a great time out this morning. The streets were a little slick with the slight layer of morning mist that had settled on them. The moisture in the air felt great and it was milder than I thought it would be. What a delight. I got started on projects that needed to be finished up today. It will not take that long. Yesterday I had spasms in my neck, shoulder area and the base of my spine. I took the spasm medication from the pinched nerve and muscle spasms episode that occurred this summer. It has help to bring the discomfort down from an 8 to a 2. That is good. I will add more stretching to the routine to help stave off that stuff.

Still tossing out stuff that needs to go and cleaning the spaces and places. One room at a time and feeling fine! This is Thursday and it is going to be a great day. The temps are going to drop into the 20’s for lows, so I brought the plants in after giving them a good soaking of water. The temps are not expected to rise above freezing until next week. These two babies do not like to be inside at all, but they will die if I leave them out, so they are just going to have to suck it up.

This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it. Thank you, LORD. I acknowledge you in all things, events, and wonders this day. Thank you for never leaving nor forsaking me.

I have found myself trying to, in all my ways, acknowledge the LORD so that HE will direct my path. This is the faith at the core of all my actions… witnessing the evidence of things not seen, Yesterday I saw a trail of snail slim on the sidewalk during my 2-mile journey. It had zigged and zagged all over the place. It was a sight I caught because the lighting hit it in such a way that it drew my attention. Yet, there it was and I remember saying to myself that that was indeed the evidence of things not seen. It was cool. Now to the substance of things hoped for.

Goal and step 1- What are you hoping for- Mahogany the film just jumped into my head… Do you know what you’re hoping hope; when you look behind you there’s no open door. What are you hoping for? Do you know? It is really such a sad song. Being such a free spirit myself, I can truly relate to this song. Nonetheless, I must discover the answers to these questions.

Goal and step 2- looks like it is to cry today…

Goal and step 3- keep on plugging away and fake it till you make it

Goal and step 4- get a grip on what it means to take the next action. The next action step is so important to outcomes that one desires.

Goal and Step 5- Define the outcome you want

I am going to stop here with these steps and goals for today. I am just too in my feelings to reflect on this stuff this day. If I could get this stuff aligned, that would be great. But until I discover what it is or get to the point where I can visualize what I desire, this is just a waste of time on that deeper level.

I want a neater house, so I am cleaning and merging and purging. I want a neater yard, so I have been racking leaves and placing bags out to be picked up by the garbage collector. I want to finish this clock, so I will go to Walmart and see if they have cheaper clock kits than Michaels did. I will drill a hole in the wood and put this clock together and be done with yesterday’s remaining projects.

I got a call from Pablo’s wife about him needing support letters as a part of his citizenship requirements. She said I needed to have a certain income. I told her that I was not working full-time at all, so I wouldn’t be able to help out right now. But, as soon as I am in a position to write a letter of support, I will. It did not phase or move me one iota to double or triple down on trying to get a job. That was something in the past I would have fretted about… you know… wow look at you… if you had a job, you could have helped out… what’s wrong with you… but I just took it in stride. This reminder is that I am not in that position right now.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Here is my heart. Take it all.

Show me my heart, so I can see what you see, LORD.

Bless the name of the LORD in all the earth. Thank you, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!

This is going to be a great day.

God will… Shall supply all my needs according to HIS riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Blessings~

Day 24

Day 80 or Day 24

6:33am. Took the dogs out for 2 miles with me, practiced piano, read bible, said affirmations and now to this typing. Was up at 5:15am and hit the door about 5:28. The morning is moving pretty fast. Today I start at MCC in the Upward Bound Program tutoring English. We are just meeting the students and each other. That is at 5:30pm. For now, the day has just begun. This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it.

I had a good time with Jose and Aranza. They are just the cutest little married couple. We had pan grilled bell pepper with white onions, mushrooms and a hot pepper. We had plantain, and black beans, and salsa and avocado. She is a great cook.

I got some wood work done. I took out the pin nailer I purchased backed in December and took it for a spin. After moving the setting from 60 psi to 90, I got the result that I needed to complete the task. I made two little ladders and a tiny or miniature bed frame or at least that is what I am calling it for now. I may put a wall hook on it and call it something else or a back stand or a bull nose clip… So many options.

The weather this morning was fantastic, so I went ahead and went out first today. I haven’t done that in while, and I am glad. With the dogs, it is harder to get around when more people or out at 6:00 than 5:30.

I submitted a children’s story to Ripple Press yesterday. It takes five months for them to let anyone know the determination. So, I will know more in June. They have and interesting conceptual approach to the stories they are looking for. The editor is very much wanting to inform folks of what he is not looking for. I can appreciate that. He seems to want very visually inspiring material to give to his illustrators. With my background in experimental work, I think I can really add to what he is looking for.

I checked out four books from the library that I am looking forward to diving into. I also talked with mom last night and encouraged her to go to the library and write her book. I hope she is able to enjoy the process. It is a process. I was back and forth at Walmart yesterday. It was fine. I needed to get out and about. I can retreat too much. No worries.

Steps to achieving my goal 1- In all my ways acknowledge the LORD and He shall direct my steps

Steps to achieving my goal 2- Lean not to my own understanding

Steps to achieving my goal 3- look neither to the left or to the right

Steps to achieving my goal 4- seek wisdom

Steps to achieving my goal 5- seek understanding

Steps to achieving my goal 6- ask for divine guidance

Steps to achieving my goal 7- be obedient

Steps to achieving my goal 8- follow the leading of the Holy Spirit

Steps to achieving my goal 9- Actions of faith

Steps to achieving my goal 10- Praise the Lord

And it is that simple to do. Just keep swimming…

80 days of journal writing each morning, and this is the 24^th day of goals/steps… six more days to go. I am happy that 24 days are behind me. I have not seen that Torrey woman since or heard Mary mention an update on her. Weird. I will contact her and ask her about her changes when my 30 days are done. I am curious to know if she has had impact in her life. She said she wanted to be married. I hope she is on that path right now.

Westerns… that is what my dream was about last night. It was awful in that even the so called good guys were not that good at all it turned out. But the episode only went halfway before I was awakened. There was plenty of time for redemption. Of course, I saw vividly all the middle aged white men in the storyline, and sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes in my dream. That was probably why I woke myself up. It was a Rifleman/Lone Ranger mashup.

Bless this day, Oh LORD. Keep me in perfect peace. You are the author and the finisher of my faith. Without deeds, faith is dead. Keep deeds on my path throughout the day. Thank you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Blessings~ 

Day 23

Day 79 or Day 23

5:39am and it is all good. Got up at 5:15 and took the dogs out. Came in to practice the piano. Now to get these pages in. Got until 6:10am to type. This 30-minute thing is a bugger boo, but I will keep my head down and punch these keys.

Yesterday I did get three projects done. I just posted two. Today I have nothing that has been simmering over night or bubbling up this morning. I find the easiest to knock out are the poems, but I like when a short children’s story shows up. They are fun to write and often short. I did the word count on the stories and the longest is about 1100 words. The shortest is 140 and the other two are 240 words. That ain’t bad.

I have about half the floor tile finished. I found that it is better to do it in sections. The cleaner needs to sit for five minutes and then the on the knees scrubbing can commence. I will spend part of this day throwing random stuff away again. It is the little foxes that destroy the vine.

Mary is making great head way. Our life group friend, Erica was over helping her yesterday evening get her office space cleared and set up. I am super proud and happy for her. She is moving forward and she said she is getting some momentum. She asked me, “How am I doing?” That is what I have asked her over the years since getting up off the mate after being knocked clean out in 2002. I told her that she was doing great. I think 2017 was the last year I asked her that question.

Finished reading How Money Works: The Facts Visually Explained and Getting Things Done 2015 version. I will go to the library today and return these and get other books to usher this story forward. Perhaps Show Your Work is ready. That will be a start. I am going to need to really think about the other book topics before heading out. It is time to sharpen some focus.

Goal 1- Think outside the box… I do not fully grasp what this means, but OK. I will meditate on it today and chew the cud. I like the think part of it, though.

Goal 2- Meditate on the purpose of seeds, and do not despise the day of small beginnings. I often find myself around big picture folks or trapped in my big picture thinking when I need to remember the small things. The devil is in the details. Small things bring about big things or at best, bigger things. Life is in the small things. Think small and grow large.

Goal 3- Find solace in small steps. Often, I let my mind take me to the land of overwhelming. The only place I need to be is right here in this moment and working on what is in front of me. There are no giants before me. There is only love and hope and faith.

Goal 4- "Begin" is a good start. I used to have a sign in my office when I taught that read: Once begun, half done. And it is a good reminder about just getting going. Trust and move.

Goal 5- Begin again… did you forget to get going after you began… begin again… I feel like a robot from time to time in need of having my large winding key turned to reset or reboot because I just drift to the land of numb. I am tired of ending up in the land of numb. This might be a story in the making… hold on…

Goal 6- Kill your loved ones. This is a philosophy I picked up at the Iowa Workshop from a Teaching Assistant in the Program and used while teaching RTVF. There might be some scene or shot or a line in a script that you are in love with. It just does not work or fit in the flow of what needs to happen. You try to get it in the suitcase or the film, but it is just clunking and funky. You must kill it. I shot a little video of the foliage outside my house and had a shot of a tree, a close up of my fence rail and a shot of my porch swing. I liked these shots. I placed them on the timeline. I found they did not work for the piece. I deleted them from the timeline. This is how I must proceed with all the choices before me. The only thing that is different is that I was working on a project that I wanted to work on in that moment. The projects I need to work on that matter financially, I am avoiding like the plague. I must take this same approach with my life and its direction. Mary asked if I was anxious. I told her from time to time I am worried, and I recited the scripture about being anxious for nothing. I am more frustrated that nothing has come to me yet, but that is fine. God has a perfection that I cannot touch. Do your thing, Father GOD!

Goal 7- Be inventive… if that is all I am asked to do this day… Cool beans and like Sophia in the Color Purple said, “Fine with me.”

Goal 8- Imagine your next vacation overseas… I see it not that far overseas… I want the blue waters of the Caribbean.

Goal 9- Sweep your porch… nuf said!

Goal 10- Do not contain your attitude of gratitude… if this is a today goal… bring it!

These seem like interesting goals for today. They may not be the short and long-term goals that are what I would think of as leading me to employment, but they are what they are and they can be transformative in their own right. Well, hello little goals that have popped up for today.

This is the day that the LORD has made. I shall rejoice and be glad in it. Be anxious for nothing, but in all things, make your request know unto the LORD with prayer and supplication and thanksgiving, and the peace of God will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Those who wait on the LORD will mount up as eagles. I am about to soar.

Yeah! Now off to get these two miles in... Took the dogs for two miles yesterday afternoon when the winds had died down and it was much warmer.

Holy Spirit dwell deeper in me this day. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Father God. Praise and Bless your Holy Name!

Blessings~